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Perfectionism

Does the following sound familiar?

  • "I should never hurt anyone's feelings"

  • "I should know better"

  • "I should foresee all problems and avoid them"

  • "I should always know what to say"

  • "I should perform better than everyone else"

  • "I should never have anxious feelings"

  • "I should have total self-control"

  • "I should never make a mistake"
     

If these sound like your inner dialogue, it sounds like you're struggling with perfectionism. If you meet your own standards (nearly impossible!), you feel good about yourself. But if you don't (more common), you feel like a failure. There is no middle ground!

We will work together so that you can be your best self, but without all of the ups and downs. Overcoming perfectionism involves a triage of tools including mindfulness, challenging beliefs and expectations, setting boundaries, and much more.

Brene Brown quote about perfectionism

Complex Trauma (C-PTSD)

"What is complex trauma? It's the trauma that happens repeatedly over a length of time. So, unlike a car accident, a fall, or a medical procedure, complex trauma comes from physical and/or emotional abuse or neglect over time, usually during childhood. The abuse or neglect doesn't have to be big and overt or even intentional, although it can be. Often it's very subtle but repeats for years.

Barbed wire brain art

Circumstances that can cause complex trauma include:
 

  • Growing up with a parent or sibling with a mental illness/addiction

  • Growing up in a system that has a survival mentality (whether in poverty or not)

  • Growing up within a strict, inflexible doctrine (i.e. religion, cult, patriarchal system, right/wrong/good/bad, etc.)

  • Growing up with caretakers who have low emotional intelligence (EQ)

  • Growing up with caretakers who have been traumatized themselves, and have not done healing work

  • Growing up in a chaotic environment (many moves, many caretakers, broken promises, etc.)

  • Growing up in an environment where caretakers are emotionally and/or physically unavailable


Some of the symptoms of an adult with complex trauma include:
 

  • Appearing withdrawn and/or volatile

  • A history of unhealthy relationships

  • Having exxagerated startle responses

  • Sleep disturbances and/or nightmares

  • Having substance and/or process addictions

  • Constant hypervigilance

  • Memory lapses

  • A habit of overexplaining just to be understood

  • Having inflexible boundaries - too strong or too lenient

  • A deep sense of shame and guilt


With consistency and determination, healing is possible. I'll work with you to build trust over time; teach you to better regulate emotions; clear old traumatic memories, and much more."

Rape & Sexual Assault Recovery

Maybe you were molested as a child, or raped as an adult. Maybe you were sexually harassed at work, or had unwanted sexual encounters along the way. Whatever has happened in the past is impacting you now - you don't feel safe in the world. You have a very sensitive startle response. You've lost or never had a sense of your own personal boundaries or space. You act out in ways you know are not healthy or good, but you also don't know what all the fuss is about. It's time to heal.

Hand with "Stop Sexual Assault" writing

It's time to move from victim to SURVIVOR! It's time to give yourself a break. It's time to accept that this bad thing really happened to you and it MATTERS. We will work through it together so that you can thrive on the other side. You are stronger than you think you are.

Anxiety & Stress

Anxiety is an over-stimulation of the fight or flight response by the nervous system, and the physical symptoms are associated with the emotion of fear. Sometimes the cause of the anxiety is known, but often it is unconscious, related to misconceptions, or past experiences and feeling states. Phobias (specific fears about spiders or flying, for example), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and panic attacks are also forms of anxiety disorders. Healing comes from awareness, understanding, expression, and through the connection with the therapist.

Exasperated woman

With both anxiety and depression, one typically experiences feelings by oneself. Therefore, it is vital to treatment that the therapist accompanies the client through those feelings, so that the afflicted can heal through relationship.

Perfectionism
Complex Trauma (C-PTSD)
Sexual Assault Recovery
Anxiety & Stress
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